by Joe Wilkins<\/p>\n
Copyright \u00a9 2014<\/p>\n
Golfers have many ways of expressing themselves about their shotmaking during a round of golf. They typically make remarks about their playing companion\u2019s efforts as well as themselves, usually in good, friendly spirits. These expressions encourage the joy and frustration of the game\u2014which is why we play!<\/p>\n
Enjoy and use the following during your times on the course.<\/p>\n
1) \u201c A Bobby Darin,\u201d or a \u201cSplish Splash.\u201d Either of these expressions is for any shot that goes into the water, suggested by Bobby\u2019s hit song of the \u201860\u2019s.<\/p>\n
2) \u201cA Gregory Peck,\u201d or \u201cOn the Beach.\u201d For any ball hit into a sand trap, suggested by the nuclear holocaust movie of the 60\u2019s, starring Peck and Ava Gardner. Lady golfers are free to call such shots an \u201cAva\u201d if they so desire.<\/p>\n
3) \u201cCallaway Went Thataway.\u201d This expression is suitable for all golfers using Callaway golf balls when they hit their ball in the woods, out of bounds, or any other undesirable place. This expression comes from the title of the movie of 1951, staring Fred McMurray and Howard Keel.<\/p>\n
4) \u201cA Clint Eastwood,\u201d or a \u201cRawhide.\u201d This is generally suitable for any putt that rolls too far past the hole. It is usually accompanied by the golfer either humming or singing softly to the theme of the 60\u2019s TV show \u201cRawhide,\u201d starring Clint Eastwood: \u201cRolling, rolling, rolling. Watch that golf ball rolling. Stop your maddening rolling\u2014Rawhide! As golfers we are tightening, when the greens are like lightning. Will the greenskeeper soon be by our side? Don\u2019t try to understand them, especially when they sand them. And always keep your putter by your side. Line \u2018em up, putt \u2018em out, give a shout\u2014Rawhide!\u201d If you can\u2019t remember this whole ditty, then the first three words are sufficient.<\/p>\n
5) \u201c A Roland Young,\u201d or a \u201cTopper.\u201d This is for any grossly topped shot that pounds into the earth. Named after the title character in the movie \u201cTopper,\u201d 1937.<\/p>\n
6) \u201cAn Arbuckle.\u201d For any shot hit fat. Named after the fat character actor, Fatty Arbuckle, in early Hollywood.<\/p>\n
7) \u201c An Arnold Palmer.\u201d For any shot resulting in a huge, wet divot. Palmer was famous for divots that had to replaced using a shovel and wheelbarrow. (Just kidding!) Ladies will seldom use this term, because such divots are usually produced by marginally talented, macho, male golfers who insist on playing from the championship tees, but with less than Arnold Palmer results!<\/p>\n
8) \u201c A Captain Hook.\u201d For any severely hooked shot. Especially useful at seaside courses when the ball is hooked into the ocean.<\/p>\n
9) \u201c A Hurricane.\u201d Especially appropriate when the golfer swings extra hard and misses the ball entirely, creating a breeze on the tee. A loud whoosh is accepted if a breeze is not felt.<\/p>\n
10) \u201cYou hit the big ball first!\u201d Referring to your opponent hitting the planet Earth before hitting the ball. This can be used instead of \u201cAn Arbuckle,\u201d if you do not wish to offend your companion because of his or her girth.<\/p>\n
11) \u201cI\u2019m glad that ball was painted!\u201d This is used when the ball is barely skimmed when struck, resulting in a shot that is only slightly better than a vigorously topped one.<\/p>\n
12) \u201cNot enough bacon in that sandwich!\u201d or \u201cNot enough meat on that bone!\u201d or \u201cNeeded one more spoon of oatmeal!\u201d These phrases are appropriate for putts that are agonizingly just short of going in the hole.<\/p>\n
13) \u201cNeed to switch to decaf!\u201d For a putt that is yipped, jerkily stroked, or blasted past the hole.<\/p>\n
14) \u201cA Shirley Temple.\u201d For a putt that is too delicately stroked and is very short of the hole. Especially appropriate for women golfers.<\/p>\n
15)\u201d A bacon strip.\u201d A description for a well struck ball from the turf, with minimal or no divot. Jack Nicklaus was famous for these.<\/p>\n
16) \u201c A Jeff Chandler or a Rod Steiger.\u201d Named after two actors who were notorious for overacting. They can be used to describe the behavior of golfers who overly emote after hitting a bad shot.<\/p>\n
17) \u201c Diversity Man (or Woman).\u201d Used to describe the golfer who is continually changing his swing, seeking the holy grail of golf, namely par. After a while, the continuous changing often becomes an obsession. Since there are millions of golf swing variables that can be used, these golfers need our prayers for a task that will never be completed.<\/p>\n
18) \u201cRegurgitation Man (or Woman).\u201d This accurately describes those golfers who recount every shot of their just completed round to all who will listen. Their diatribes usually occur on the 19th<\/sup> hole. These folks have excellent memories for things that do not matter, but will probably forget your name or to pay the bar tab.<\/p>\n 19) \u201c Fruit of the Doom.\u201d A sliced or banana ball, the bane of most golfers.<\/p>\n 20) \u201cThat ball ran over the cellophane bridge!\u201d For a ball that rolls over the cup, when the golfer can see no reason why it shouldn\u2019t have gone in.<\/p>\n 21) \u201cGoing squirrel hunting?\u201d To be asked of your partner when he hits one into the trees.<\/p>\n 22) \u201cA Martin.\u201d For a putt that\u2019s very short of the hole. Named after the Saturday Night Live actor, Martin Short, whose last name accurately describes his height.<\/p>\n 23) \u201cA Humperdinck.\u201d For a description of the golfer who freezes and does not release his hands properly at impact, resulting in a shot that goes way right (or left for southpaws). Named in honor of Ingelbert\u2019s popular song, \u201cRelease Me,\u201d the first line of which is \u201cPlease release me, let me go\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n In conclusion, you golfers out there have heard many other expressions appropriate to this game we all love. Creative use of them\u2014and in good spirits\u2014makes this game even more enjoyable.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" by Joe Wilkins Copyright \u00a9 2014 Golfers have many ways of expressing themselves about their shotmaking during a round of golf. They typically make remarks about their playing companion\u2019s efforts as well as themselves, usually in good, friendly spirits. These … Continue reading